Feeling Lost

I am at a loss for words.... I want to be around people and then I don't.  The problem is the people that I'm around right now is not the people I want around me.  I want my family.  I want the people that know me and know how to comfort me.  I want the people that recognize when I push them away it's a call for help, because I don't want to be alone at all, I just want to be loved and held and taken care of.  I want to cry for hours as I grieve.  I want to be allowed to not know what I want, but just be loved regardless.  I just want my family.  I'm tired of being around people who don't want me around.  

God help me! Help me feel your love as I sit here crying.  I just need your help.  I need your love.  I need you!