God controls it all, so control your attitude

My friend wrote this to me and it meant a lot to me; 

Chelle, I pray that as you go through your day you embrace the positive
things God has blessed you with and receive the positivity others try to share with you. It may be hard right now and I realize that, but look to the hills from which cometh your help. It cometh from the Lord.

"For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the LORD, "plans to prosper
you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

If I haven't already told you today, I LOVE YOU. I am praying for you. I
miss you.

Know that the past cannot be changed, but the future is still in your power.
I hope you can take these words and use them as you continue to allow God to
work through you.

Don't let today's disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow's dreams.

The past is what we always tend to look back on, but remember the future is
what we look to, to move forward.

I am so blessed by his words.  Sometimes I fixate so much on the things I cannot change that I forget to fix the things I can change, I can rejoice and be glad for the day and the fact that I'm still living.  I can't control anything much in my life, but I can control my attitude of how I receive it. So, Lord let me control what I can, let me be happy and rejoice in his word.  And give all the other things I can't control up to God.

Feeling Lost

I am at a loss for words.... I want to be around people and then I don't.  The problem is the people that I'm around right now is not the people I want around me.  I want my family.  I want the people that know me and know how to comfort me.  I want the people that recognize when I push them away it's a call for help, because I don't want to be alone at all, I just want to be loved and held and taken care of.  I want to cry for hours as I grieve.  I want to be allowed to not know what I want, but just be loved regardless.  I just want my family.  I'm tired of being around people who don't want me around.  

God help me! Help me feel your love as I sit here crying.  I just need your help.  I need your love.  I need you! 

Oceans- Feb 16, 2016

Feb 16, 2016...

It may be morbid that I find comfort in the a song called Oceans- the very thing that took my niece from me..... For those who don't know.  My niece drowned in the Ocean.  

She loved the water, she loved to splash in it and play with her brother.  She was perfect to me.  

I've been listening to this song on repeat, mostly because I have been finding some comfort in the words...If you've never heard it before.  Here are the lyrics...

"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

I think about Peter being called to walk on the water and him having to trust in God.  Right now the water, the ocean makes me sad, but I don't understand what God is doing in my life, but I know He is there and He is calling me to Him, because He wants to care for me. 

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

I long to rest in the arms of the Father right now.  For I am His and He is mine!  It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else right now.  I just long to rest in Him, as I get scared or overwhelmed by the things that I don't understand, He is watching over me.  
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

I love this... I just want to resonate in it.... His grace abounds when we go through our biggest struggles.  His hand is what leads me through this valley of sorrows.  When I cannot lean on my own strength.  I can lean on Him, because He has never failed me and He will never fail me.  

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

Oh, Jesus, you're my God!

JESUS, lead me, lead me where You want me to be.  Lead me out on the water, where I have no ability to walk alone.  Lead me where You want me, lead me to where I have never gone before, because I have failed to trust You the way You desire me to.  Build up the relationship in me that You have been yearning for and I have been yearning for to have with You. And because You will lead me  my faith in You will become stronger and hopefully through Your light in me.  It will enable others to trust in You as You've shown me that You are more than deserving of that Trust.  

Lord, I'm trying.  Please meet me where I'm at.  Show me grace and mercy as I am wanting nothing more than You in my life right now. 

AMEN