Tomorrow

I leave tomorrow!! I cannot believe it. October 18th a day I thought would take eons to get here will be here in only a few hours... I have oodles of feelings soaring through my body right now and I cannot help but think, I should be sleeping! I feel like a kid the night of Christmas eve, when you should be sleeping, but you're too excited to sleep and all you can think about is the next morning, or in my case the next evening. For my morning will just be packed with flights and last minute freak outs like "Oh no I forgot my tooth brush". Which speaking of, I do hope I remember to put that in after I brush my teeth tomorrow morning. I cannot believe how blessed I truly am. The Lord is so good! Yesterday, I had an amazing turn out at my little going away potluck shindig. I have to admit I was a slight bit amazed at how many people came out and I feel absolutely blessed to have had the beautiful weather and to have been able to see my friends in happy good byes. So, this is it I guess... Good bye to Oregon, and tomorrow night I'll be falling asleep in Montgomery, Alabama. Here I come 80 degree weather!!!

3 weeks and 1 day...

The days have been just flying by and it's nearly time for me to fly away. I'm sitting here on my bed with Dougal just contemplating the fact that in a month I will be in Alabama. Thinking back on how far the Lord has brought me through all of this. In 2009, I finally graduated college. I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing and on June 26, 2009 I became an official Registered Nurse. At that point in my life I was applying to all the hospitals in Oregon. I was looking up jobs on craigslist. I was googling for nurse internships, and applying to jobs from Alaska, to Florida and all the way to New York. Sadly, no one would hire me. I even tried calling a few nurse placement companies. However, in order to find work I needed to have at least a year to 18 months of experience. Being a new grad I was caught in a bit of a squeeze and not having any experience I couldn't find a job. So, I decided at the end of august if I still was unable to find a job I would do something I never thought I would do I would apply to a military branch. I looked into the Army, the Air Force, the Navy. I kind of wrote the Coast Guard and the Marines right off. Don't know why I did I just did. Over time it came down to the Navy and the Air Force. I heard a lot about the Navy from other people. Just as I heard a lot about the Air Force. I even had a friend who was already on track to go into the Air Force. So, as I continued to look into all the different options I finally called both. The Air Force people that I talked to just struck a cord and the more and more I heard from others all the positives about the Air Force I did it I asked my friend for her recruiter's number and I called. The next thing I know I am making an appointment to meet him and discuss the options and if I want to join. We meet at Starbucks and we talk for about 30 min to an hour. The meeting goes fairly well and I decide that at the end of that meeting I want to begin applying for the Air Force. That day was Wednesday September 16, 2009. Over a year ago. Crazy! At the time I started applying I was aiming to get on the November review board, as things panned out. Especially, things concerning my health of my freshman year of college, there was a bit of hiccup going through all my stuff. So, I didn't make it on the November Review Board. However, I was going to be ready for the January Review Board. I had all my paper work in and it was time to get my physical done. So, in the beginning of November I went to MEPS- Military Entrance Processing Station. I had my vision, hearing and basically my whole body looked over. I also had to pee in a cup, while being watched not my favorite past time. Especially, when you feel you need to make conversation while trying to pee. However, I still passed and made it through I was feeling grand at that point. Thinking I still might be able to make it onto the November board I called my recruiter to ask... Sadly he had moved my date back without telling me. At this point, a little down trodden I went home told my family I passed and waited to hear back. While applying for the Air Force, I still continued to send out my resume probably at least 3 times a week and apply for about 5 new jobs a week. With few calls coming back and even fewer job interviews lined up. I was feeling very depressed and as though I would never get a chance to show what a great nurse I can truly be. With December on the horizon my Nurse interview with a Lt Colonel. We hit it off really well. I remember thinking it was more of just a casual conversation than a true interview. It was in all honesty one of the easiest interviews I have ever had. After my interview, my recruiter took me all over the base in Spokane, WA It was a lot of fun and exciting to think I could be living on one soon. At that point, my desire to get into the Air Force was even greater than it ever had been. All my paperwork was in all my interviews and physicals were over, it came down to the Air Force.... did they want me? Or would they reject me like everyone else had. I was quite used to rejection and not quite sure what to do. I was told not to get my hopes up. I was also told that the earliest I could hope to hear of when I was accepted would be February 6th at the earliest. So, when February 3rd came and I got a call from my recruiter I just thought I had some more paper work I needed to fill out or perhaps it was just a check in to make sure I was doing well. Whatever the reason I was not anticipating a call saying that I had been selected by the Air Force. Over joyed and super excited I started telling everyone that I had been accepted and selected for the Air Force, and the earliest I could leave would be March and the latest I would leave would be October. At that time, the idea of staying till October seemed like eons to wait and it was not something I wanted to contemplate dealing with. Well, the months came and left.... March passed no news of leaving.... April came and the chance of leaving in May was an option. I once again got my hopes up to leave and they were doused with ice cold water when May was over and I was still in Oregon. The option of June was very slim, but the possibility was still there to leave on June 26th. Super excited I decided to visit my Grandma and family down in California. Sadly, the call came and I would not be leaving. July was not even a possibility as it came and left I held out hope for August as it would be the last possible chance to leave before October came. As August came and went I now anticipate October 18, 2010. A D-day in a way for me. A day of intense excitement. A day that brings slight anxiety. A day that brings forth thoughts of failure and ineptitude. As I look back at my trials though small to the rest of the world felt monumental in my life. I now look across the horizon at October and though filled with excitement, anxiety and uneasiness. I feel an overarching sense of purpose and peace that this is what the Lord wants for me. The time is near and the time is coming for me to go. For I no longer count my life dear, because I am to do the will of the Lord. I look upon the day with eagerness and determination that I can and I will succeed.

AIR FORCE: Integrity First, Service Before Self, Excellence in all we do!

No words express my gratitude....

The Lord is absolutely amazing... I guess that is all I really have to say. The way he works in my life. The way he shows himself to me through others when they don't even realize. The fact that I can have such Joy when the world thinks I have nothing to be Joyful about. Lord I just rejoice in you. I finally finished Genesis!!! Absolutely amazing... the funniest part is probably that I could start again in Gen 1 tomorrow and still get more out of it. Lord you truly show yourself in every word. You divinly inspired the bible so that we may be able to read your word and truly see you!
One of my favorite things that my Youth Pastor said when I was in high school was when he illustrated the way we need to keep our eyes focused upon the Lord at all times as an Ostrich has to keep one eye on it's nest at all times, otherwise, it will truly forget where it's nest is. Lord I am that stupid bird. The second I take my eyes off of you I fall and I trip and I start wandering around and you are continue to sit there and wait for me. You are such a patient Lord. I appreciate that so much. I am prone to wander Lord, I am prone to close my eyes. Lord but you are not a baby ostrich egg. You search me out and you find me in my time of greatest need and you meet me there. I am so blessed that you the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, The Alpha and Omega would chose me. However, I guess in a sense I do fit the mold of the weak and the foolish. People can see me and know that I am nothing without you. Lord, I want to not just have one eye upon you at all times, but I want both eyes upon you at all times, for I do not desire to go astray. Keep a spot for me at your feet, Lord. For that is where I desire to be all the days of my life.
Maybe because I am the second child, maybe because I consider myself unworthy, maybe because I feel absolutely nothing without you, but I love that you chose to use Isaac instead of Ishmael, I love that you used Jacob instead of Esau, I love that you chose Joseph over Reuben and you chose Ephraim over Manasseh. Lord you truly are a Lord that uses means other than that of this world. You do not conform to the world, when the world puts investment into the eldest child, and when the world chooses the hairy and masculine man over a smooth decptive heel snatcher brother. Lord, I truly believe that it was not so much the means that just these men were the weak and foolish, but they were men that realized they could do nothing without you. They were men with a heart for you. When their brothers' hearts were not always in the right place you saw that and you knew who would be a better representatives of you Lord. The forefathers of the faith, men not to be worhsiped, because only you are to be worshiped, but men to take notice of, for their faith is what makes them great. As are the men and women of the bible - for we are saved by faith alone, but faith alone is not faith.

Thank you Lord for all that you have given me, most of all Life. I pray that I will use every minute as you have planned it for me. For your will is greater than I can comprehend and everything always works to the benefit of your plan. You never give me more than I can handle and I appreciate that so much.